When Oluwakemi Adenike and Adetunji Olaolu Abiola got married on October 22, 2005, their expectation for immediate pregnacy was high. For the couple, there was no reason for any delay because their eight year two months courtship was preoccupied with sowing of seeds and prayers for easy childbearing.
It was also devoid of any sin as Christian singles; hence their expectation of God rewarding their faithfulness. But, this wasn’t so as their nine months expectation became a nightmare especially for Mrs. Abiola.
According to her, “We courted for eight years two months before we got married. And during our courtship, we had a lover’s booster’s prayer every Friday where we sowed seeds for our marriage and child bearing. I remember in one of those prayers, I prayed that the birth of my child would draw many to God. We said other prayers and everything went like that.
My uncle, Deacon Bayo Onipede, who was also the chairman at our wedding reception said that after nine months, we would invite them again for a baby christening ceremony. So we were thinking it would be nine months like he said. I didn’t have any reason to doubt the nine month prayer because I kept myself during our courtship. So it never occurred to me that it was possible for a man to meet with a woman and she doesn’t get pregnant. But nine months turned to nightmare. We began to move from one hospital to another and from one medication to another.”
Like every other normal couple, they began the journey into finding the reasons for the delay and possible solutions.
In Mrs. Abiola’s words, “We were first told that my husband had low sperm count and he was placed on medication and his sperm count came up. In fact, it became higher. In spite of this, I did not get pregnant. Later the doctor told me that my Prolactin was high, I had hormonal imbalance and that I wasn’t ovulating. I was also placed on medication and my Prolactin became normal and I started ovulating; yet, didn’t get pregnant. Later, I started getting pregnant but before the end of the first trimester, I would have miscarriage. At times, it would be the same day I’m told in the hospital that I was pregnant that a miscarriage would occur.”
The frustration became more intense as families and friends began to throw tantrums. This led the couple into seeking further solutions to their predicament. Mr. Abiola related an incident that led to this journey. “There were several humiliating expriences. One day she went somewhere to visit her friend and after a while, the friend told my wife she would like to go to meet her children at home. My wife also said she would be leaving and the friend sarcastically asked her who she was going to meet at home since she didn’t have any child. That got my wife so upset that in the evening when I got home from work and sat on the couch, she went behind me, wrapped her arm around my neck while her tears rolled down my chest. She held my neck tight and she started saying ‘I need a baby. I want a child.’ That was the genesis of the IVF experiment. That’s was like three to four years into our marriage
They gave me the injections and said since I am a medical practitioner, I should inject her.
When she saw that the injection filled a polythene bag, she was afraid and started crying but I calmed her down. 13 eggs were collected from her ovary for the IVF. I was also called for sperm collection and they fertilized them on Friday and we were told that at exactly 9:am on Monday morning, they would need to transfer back. So they called me over the weekend that they had four beautiful foetus to be transferred back and I thanked God. But within that weekend, she got very ill and vomited all through. I tried all I could to stabilize her because missing it would mean that the N1.6 million requested by the doctor was wasted. The sickness continued until Sunday and I had to call the doctors and explain her situation to them.They asked me to bring her on Monday morning by 7am so they could stabilize her because the transfer of the feotus had to be at 9am. On Monday, they were able to stabilize her and by 9am, the transfer was done. Only to come back after two weeks and it was negative. I felt like I should be crushed by a car. There was one of those nights of miscarriages, when she called me and I went to the see her in the toilet, I saw her in the pool of her blood. I drove that night from Ogba to Surulere like a mad man. It was so heavy that we had to use a big towel to hold the bleeding. I almost lost her that day. Even the doctor confirmed it. I was so scared.
Mr Abiola explained that his frustration increased because he saw numerous women terminate pregnancies while others with challenges similar to his own got their prayers answered with the aid of medications that he and his colleagues prescribed in his practice as a pharmacist. “I always said to God, ‘why don’t you just transfer the children that they don’t want to me?’” he told The Fountaineer.
Here Mrs Abiola took over: “I did fibroid surgery and it was after that I discovered that one of my fallopian tubes had been tampered with during the operation. Meanwhile the doctor didn’t tell me. Then I started taking drugs again. I even took the local herbs called Agbo, I even took Aseje (local concoction). All these things I took never worked. I didn’t get pregnant.
At a point, they told me I had a spiritual husband and I said ‘God, how can I be born again and still have a spiritual husband?’ We prayed and went for deliverance upon deliverance. Later they said the problem was with one of our wedding gifts, that someone had attacked us with the gift. Since we didn’t know which one of the gifts, we packed all the gifts and threw them away when the waste disposal truck came.”
Then the journey to a turnaround started as their marriage turned 10!
According to Mrs Abiola, “Last year October 22, 2015 it was our 10th year wedding anniversary and we weren’t too enthusiastic to celebrate it because at that time, I was too tired of praying against enemies. But my uncle, Deacon Bayo Onipede, invited us again for Thursday Showers as always. So on our wedding anniversary which happened to be a Thursday, I encouraged my husband that we come. During the service, Pastor Taiwo preached on Enlargement and I said in my heart that “God, please enlarge my family.” At the end of the service, we came out for the first timers and also for wedding anniversary and Pastor gave us a handshake. I didn’t know that my husband had keyed into that handshake. I can say that was the handshake that changed everything.”
Mr Abiola told us, “As we came for the first timers, Pastor Taiwo shook our hands and we went back. As we were walking back, wedding anniversary and birthdays were called and her uncle looked at me and asked me to go back so we went back and as we were walking to the altar, the Holy Spirit told me that I should not miss that opportunity and He wanted me to place a demand on that handshake. As Pastor Taiwo was shaking everybody, I grabbed his hand and I heard that voice again to place a demand on that shake and I said “God I need a tangible memorial for this handshake. If this man of God would shake me on a day like this twice, then something must happen.’ I didn’t know that was it. Pastor asked us how many years of wedding and we said 10. He smiled and said “wow! 10 years and you both still look young.”
At the first Thursday Showers this year, the Abiolas made a prayer request to God on the same issue not knowing that God had answered their prayers three months back. By this time, they had become regular attendees of Thursday Showers and had become dedicated to praising Him even if He doesn’t give them a child.
Mrs. Abiola explained, “I knelt down inside the church and was praying and crying. Then I felt a heaviness and a shaking in my stomach and I was wondering what that was. As we left Showers that day, the Holy Spirit told me to start buying baby things but I didn’t take it seriously because the ones we have bought in the past, were given out to people. So when the shaking started, I would go to the rest room to check myself and I won’t see anything. As I danced, I would feel the shaking as if something was running in my tummy. The Holy Spirit would tell me that I was pregnant. Meanwhile I was seeing my period so it was confusing for me; how can I be menstruating and be pregnant? During another Thursday Showers, the Holy Spirit also told me “this is your antenatal place.’ I quickly told my husband and we kept coming.”
Then the unexpected happened in May when the Abiolas went to another hospital to try again. As they sat in front of the doctor, they got the most surprising news of their lives, she was 36 weeks pregnant!
She told The Fountaineer, “After we left him, I called one of the nurses and asked her to look at my stomach and tell me if I was truly pregnant. I told her that although I had been feeling a movement in my Tommy, I was also menstruating and even if I am pregnant, shouldn’t my stomach be bulgy? Also, I didn’t have morning sickness, I was even taking some herbs in case it’s fibroid. She said the doctor couldn’t have lied if he didn’t see that I was pregnant. The doctor gave us the list of things to buy and we were still thinking it was a joke. So we decided to keep it from anyone in case it was an error, so we won’t bring shame on ourselves anymore.
Then on the 31st of that May, I started feeling contraction and I initially thought it was my period. But when the contraction was getting more, we went to the hospital. When we got to the hospital, from that morning they were watching us, by 6:30pm, I started crying and praying that God should not disgrace me. I was asking Him to give me the grace to bear the shame in case the doctor come back to say, it’s a lie. I didn’t even believe I was pregnant because my stomach was so small that I was even thinking how would the baby look. Anyhow, around 9:30, I was taken to the delivery room but before then my husband prayed with them and I went in. I was asked to push and I didn’t know how to push, I was blowing air out of my mouth. The doctor had to teach me how to push. Suddenly, the doctor came around and said ‘madam, the head of your baby is almost out.” That was how I started pushing and later, I started hearing the cry of my baby.
It was still a shock to me until I was asked to push out the placenta. That was how I gave birth to my baby boy, Oluwalayomi, Desmond Abiola at exactly 10:18pm on May 31, 2016.
When my husband came and saw the baby, we just started thanking God for making me a mother at last. I was shocked at how God did it for me.
I want to thank God today that He gave us this child now because if He had given us children 11 years ago, he won’t be having the kind of treatment he is having today. Because 11 years ago, we were living in a rented apartment but today, we have our own house and some other properties alongside. We also have our own businesses to the glory of God.”
For those who might be going through this kind of challenge, Mr. and Mrs. Abiola has this to say: “for everyone looking for the fruit for the womb, I will like you to know that children are from God and if you discover you are not having yet, then the best person to look unto is God. Don’t run another man’s race. Everyone has his season to bring forth fruits. Just hold on to God and while waiting, be settling other areas of your life. That is what I noticed the Lord did with us. The period of waiting is not the time to be running up and down, just wait on God and settle other areas of your life. Occupy till God comes to you. Encourage others and be happy for them when they are celebrating.”
Mr. and Mrs. Abiola are members of The Shepherd’s Flock International Church, Maryland, and regular worshippers at Thursday Showers, an interdenominational service of The Fountain of Life Church, Ilupeju.BLOG COMMENTS POWERED BY DISQUS