Sun, Dec

11 years of childlessness!


s a child brought up in a Christian home under the strict hand of her pastor father, Mrs Adedayo Adegoke got married in 2003 to the love of her life Mr. Adekunle Adegoke.

Married as a virgin, she expected to conceive almost immediately but it was not to be so Doctors said she wasn’t producing enough eggs. Years into the marriage, Adedayo Adegoke almost walked out of her marriage due to the shame of childlessness and pressures from both family and friends. But God’s perfect timing manifested and wiped away the shame and reproach she suffered.

Hear from her mouth: “After getting married in 2003, like every other young couple, I expected to conceive immediately but to my amazement, it wasn’t so. As a matter of fact, I got married as a virgin so I never expected or envisaged any problem or delay in conceiving.

So as the years rolled by and nothing happened, we went from hospital to hospital and from gynaecologist to gynaecologist and still no tangible result. We later opted for IVF but as I was getting prepared, it was discovered that I wasn’t producing enough eggs. I was confused at first, nevertheless we decided to start treatment. I was placed on hormonal drugs, taking injections every day and monitoring my ovulation hoping something would happen. But the more I took the drugs, it was as if nothing was working.

After the fourth trial, Adegoke gave up. And as the years passed, the pressure got more. “I am a Yoruba lady and in Yoruba land, family expects you to take in almost immediately. My family and my in-laws were eager to see their grandchild especially as my husband is the first child. People were counting years but I was counting days. If you calculate 365 days into 11, you can guess how many days I waited and counted,” she said.

There was pressure from family and friends. Some friends she said, suggested she paid a visit to herbalists and native doctors but she refused. However depression soon started to set in, especially when she had to go to the clinic for treatment and would see pregnant women coming for ante-natal classes. “Some of my friends who were maids of honour at my wedding got married and were having children. I felt really depressed”

“I then made up my mind to stop going for medicals and just stay with God. I was praying, fasting, confessing, attending all programmes and believing God to do it. Before I knew it, I was counting 10 years already in marriage. During the 2012 September fruitful vine service, I came with a heavy heart and during the prayers, I knelt before Pastor Nomthi to pray for me as a mother. She did and said “this time next year, you will come back with a testimony.” She explained.

The next month, during the first Sunday anointing service, she said walked up to Pastor Taiwo and told him she was tired of her barrenness and wanted God to bless her with her own children. In her words, ‘I asked him to anoint me and he did and said “this time next year, you will come with your testimony.” I received it, believed it and became expectant.’

In June 2013, when nothing happened, the pressure became so much that she ‘ cried to God because I was almost losing my mind as I had lost hope of God still doing it. I usually attended Thursday showers and would always talk to God and take the communion with an expectation. Months went by and nothing still happened. I got fed up and couldn’t take it any longer, I told my husband that we should divorce. I felt this was a spiritual battle because there were a few family factions against us getting married. So I felt that if we went our separate ways maybe we could have children from other people because I knew I wasn’t barren.’

She said she refused to tell her family members what she had planned- knowing fully well that they wouldn’t support her- ‘I wanted the divorce to be secret.’

But her husband kicked against it. ‘He said we were in it together-it was for better for worse. Besides, he had been supportive all through the period I was going for different tests and procedures. So he said he wouldn’t let me give in to whatever pressures whether family of friends. He believed strongly that I was going to give him a child,’ she said.

Every of Pastor Taiwo’s messages during this period talked about God’s awesomeness and ability. But the woman of favour said she would cry and fight within her, wondering ‘if God was able, why then did He allow me go through this for 11 years?’ she decided to seek counsel with Pastor Dapo who she said gave her tapes and asked her to get more tapes and books that dealt with her kind of situation. ‘He also told me to take charge and authority over my marriage and situation because I have been given the power to do so. He prayed with me each time we met. All these I did and started regaining my faith and balance in Christ.’

After a while, Adedayo and her husband decided to try again by visiting another gynaecologist and they had barely started treatment when the doctor had to travel out of the country. ‘It was while we were waiting for him to return so that he could analyse my test results and continue with the treatment that Oba adani ma gbagbe eni (The Creator that never forgets the work of His hands) proved Himself in my life. I was confirmed pregnant,’ she said excitedly. Indeed as Pastors Taiwo and Nomthi prophesied, she had her testimony. God did it naturally.

All went well during her pregnancy until the mid-trimester when she suddenly became hypertensive and diabetic and was about to be put on bed rest. She told The Fountaineer that said she started confessing the prayers in the married women fellowship booklet, break bread every day at home and partake of the communion at Thursday Showers. She said that it was as if the pregnancy would be aborted and she had to increase her intake of insulin injection to 24ml in the morning and evening. She was told if care was not taken, she could lose the pregnancy. But she chose to go to the One whose blessings makes rich and adds no sorrow;

‘I told God that He decided to wipe my tears by giving me this pregnancy so I shall not lose my baby. I increased my intake of communion at home and would always come to Showers to praise God because I knew He would do it.’ Miraculously, few weeks to her scheduled operation, both the blood pressure and her sugar level came down.

To the glory of God, Mrs Adedayo Adegoke was delivered of a beautiful baby girl, OLUWAPEMISIREAYO in the middle of 2014. She keeps thanking God for His mercies saying: ‘where I was being rejected, they now treat me as a princess. I give God the glory because “were lo ba mi se.” He vindicated me and changed my status.’

In all these, Adedayo says she has come to learn that God will always come through. ‘It’s only a matter of time. It will not be easy as human beings especially with the impatience factor but God has His own perfect time. He knows when it’s best. No matter what, we must learn to hold on to God. I fought the fight and stayed focused on God’s word, attended the fruitful vine meetings and even said the confessions in the married women’s fellowship booklet, broke bread and in the end, it worked out for my good.’

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