It was early evening on a Sunday when a young man walked into Betty’s fellowship study group at her home.
Betty was the cell group leader. After the meeting, the young man introduced himself as Robert. He was an ex-prisoner but had met the Lord in prison through the mission outreach of Betty’s church.
The pastor had led him to Christ. He therefore felt obliged to attend fellowship meetings in his church after his release. Betty and other members of the fellowship gladly welcomed Brother Robert. He soon became an active member of the church and of the fellowship in particular.
One incredible night, Sister Betty had a dream in which she found herself getting married top brother Robert. She became very worried and anxious about the dream. Betty told one of her friends, who confirmed she had had a similar dream two weeks before. Betty became even more worried.
Not long afterwards, Robert himself blurted out that he had had a dream in which he married Betty. Now thoroughly confused and uncertain, Betty decided God must be sentencing her to a lifetime of marriage with brother Robert, a man with whom she shared little except their fellowship space on Sunday evenings.
Convinced that this was so, they decided to court a while before their wedding. A few months later, Robert, now a bit more familiar with Betty, came to visit her, raped her and took off with some of her belongings. This put to an end completely any question that he might have been God’s choice for her.
Betty’s inner turmoil and lack of peace showed that God was not at the centre of that relationship. The dreams had definitely not come from God. Sometimes, the devil drops suggestions through dreams to misguide us. Ecclesiastes 5:7 says, “For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God.”
When you have inner peace, it is a good indication that you have followed God’s lead to your ordained spouse.
I must not fail to point out that if you have conducted yourself in a way that falls short of God’s requirements, for instance, by continually sinning while trying to find your intended spouse, God may decide to keep silent and leave you to yourself. This may look like peace but it is like the silence of a graveyard: there is no peace.
For the peace of God to serve as confirming evidence, you must both walk in purity before Him. You must be completely honest with God and with each other. If you have the slightest feeling of doubt, you need to speak out, and encourage your intended to do the same, because one of you may possibly be more spiritually sensitive than the other. Do not hide any feeling of uncertainty.
It is unreasonable and painful to contract a marriage that is not God’s will. If you do so, you will be sentencing yourself to a life of suffering and misery. Every passing day will make you feel more bitter. Before you decide on the partner for you, note that God’s leadership is the most effective and conclusive. You need the peace of God to confirm the approval that is essential for your choice. Then you need parental and pastoral approval to provide the final checks and balance required to achieve the successful marriage that you desire.